Convenience food gets a bad rap, but things have come a long way since a stringy Salisbury steak in a foil tray! In fact, many frozen dinners have been prepared by gourmet factory machinery and are as nutritious and delicious as any home-cooked meal! And more so, these five awesome frozen dinners are so tasty that they make you realize she was holding you back this whole time, and it’s actually a good thing you’re on your own!
#1: Stoller’s Lasagna with Two Meats: This classic baked pasta dish is not only delicious, it reminds you that she never believed you were the kind of person that could walk into their job and tell the boss what they think of them, even if it took a whole lunch break at Shaughnessy’s Pub to work up the courage. And check it out! Two meats! That’s double the variety of meats standard, non-frozen lasagnas typically give you!
#2: Hungry-Dude Kickass Boneless Wyngzzz with Attitude!: Hell yeah, this frozen meal is not only two pounds of artificially processed, white meat chicken patties, it packs a sizzling Buffalo Sauce that burns your mouth just like the words you always held back in arguments. Now that she’s not here, you can say those words out loud! You’re free to say whatever you want, whenever you want! Sure, there’s no one else in this empty house to hear them. But you can say them, alright.
#3: Kwik-Kitchen Chicken-Fried Steak: She never would have let you have all that cholesterol. And now look, all the cholesterol you want! Gravy! Pretty sure those are sausage chunks! Butter substitutes! These carbs are fuel you need to rise like a phoenix to heights now one ever thought you’d be capable of, next time you leave the house, whenever that is. Sometime soon. But not right now.
#4 Chef Guiseppe’s Breaded Stuffed Manicotti Bites: This one takes you right to the Mediterranean! Those baked pasta chunks, oozing so full of sauce and not-quite thawed cheese, it’s like being back on your honeymoon in Cinque Terra, where she and you had dinner at that cafe right at the shore. You can practically feel the sea spray on your cheeks! But no. That’s not sea spray.
#5 Mom’s Casserole: It was nice of Mom to come and drop by this tuna noodle casserole. It tastes like home. It tastes like old times. Good times. But those times are gone forever and there’s nothing to do but push forward. Keep pushing forward.
And remember, any meal can be paired with a handle of gin!