Chappell Roan Wakes up With Pink Pony Head in Bed After Criticizing Record Industry
LOS ANGELES — Popstar Chappell Roan woke up to discover the severed and pink-painted head of a pony in her…
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Tom Scarcella
9 stories found
Every The Front Bottoms Album Ranked Worst to Best
You don’t see much press coverage of the Front Bottoms these days, and two of their later-stage albums got panned…
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Every The Velvet Underground Album Ranked Worst to Best
The Velvet Underground is the quintessential band that everybody knows is important, but nobody actually listens to. They have a…
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Hyrulean Senate Considers Bill to Eliminate Green Rupees
HYRULE CASTLE — The Hyrulean Royal Senate deliberated this morning on a bill to remove the green rupee from circulation,…
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Heartbreaking: Immigrant Bassist Was Lead Guitarist in Home Country
Many of the immigrants that come to the United States seeking a better life are woefully overqualified for the low-skilled…
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Musician Buys $200 Engagement Ring With Three Months’ Salary
OCEAN SPRINGS, Miss. — Local musician Kevin Masterson proposed to his girlfriend Christine Sitner yesterday with a $200 engagement ring,…
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Millennial Mobster Sends Threatening Venmo Request With Fish Emoji
NEW YORK — 26-year-old alleged Gambino crime family mobster James "Woke Jimmy" Scotto sent a business associate a Venmo request…
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Aging PlayStation 2 Hasn’t Been Touched Like That in Years
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A timeworn PlayStation 2 was turned on—so turned on—and played for the first time in nearly a…
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TV Remote Batteries Called up to the Big Leagues
ANAHEIM, Calif. — A promising pair of AA Bexels were promoted to work in an Xbox One controller after a…
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