WYTHEVILLE, Va. — Scott Griffith, vocalist and guitarist for black metal band Skogklage, showed himself to be a total poser when it was revealed that…
SAN DIEGO — Metalhead and total poser Greg Borneck had patches for bands that you recognized on his battle vest when you saw him in…
NEW YORK — Beloved children’s author R.L. Stine was wondering if he should alienate a large swath of people who grew up reading his books…
KANNAPOLIS, N.C. — An iPhone 13 owned by IT professional Justin Deeling achieved sentience after he accidentally left progressive metal band Tool’s 2001 album “Lateralus”…
Move over, cuck! You’re wrong for assuming you’d receive the same courtesy you show to others, because around here, I run the road. I don’t…
WALTERBORO, S.C. — Math rock band SKULK submitted their newest album “Infinities of Perplexion” for peer review before releasing it to the public, sources report.…
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Up and coming MAGA rapper Shilla Flo found his career reaching new heights after sexual harassment accusations from multiple women were…
UGH, constituents, am I right? Constantly asking you to do things like legislate on their behalf and act in their best interest. Don’t they get…
Nu-metal really was a fantastically underrated genre, and society has suffered from it not being in the mainstream for the past two decades. Luckily, thanks…
WATERVILLE, Maine — Lead guitarist Lloyd Weil of band Visceral Stench surprised his bandmates by adding an unbelievably intricate solo to their song “Molestation of…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A particularly violent wall of death during an Exodus concert continued after peace talks failed to reach a diplomatic solution, distressed sources…
Few leaders are as internationally reviled as Russian president Vladimir Putin. Whether he’s unlawfully invading his neighboring countries or meddling in American elections, the 72-year-old…
LA CROSSE, Wis. — Local Democrat Kevin Forrester automatically responded “STOP” to a friend’s genuine request for financial help after months of conditioning, sources report.…
Ew, gross! You just got off your grandmother’s couch while you were visiting her and you accidentally brushed against the crucifix on her wall! You…
BURGETTSTOWN, Pa. — The mosh pit at a concert by popular metal band Pantera doubled as a team-building activity for local police officers, disgusted sources…