You Always Act Like I’m the Bad Guy Just Because My House Is a Volcano Shaped Like a Skull
Listen, I know I’m not perfect, and I know I’m not always my “best self,” but I’m sick of everyone…
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Matt McInerney
117 stories found
Norwegian Metal Band Thoroughly Disappointed By First Black Friday Experience
TAMPA, Fla. — Norwegian black metal band Emyn Arnen were seen wandering into a JCPenney store after spotting a prominent…
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Aging Punk Horrified to Learn He’s Befriending Parents Chaperoning Teens
BOSTON — 34-year-old Ryan Conway was seemingly unaware that the similarly aged couple he was talking with throughout the night…
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Angels & Airwaves Drummer Survives Yet Another Argument About Adding ‘& Aliens’ to Band Name
SAN DIEGO — Tempers flared earlier this week as drummer Ilan Rubin and frontman Tom DeLonge went for another round…
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Annual Migration Patterns Sees Acoustic Musicians Returning to Cabins to Finish Albums
SALEM, Ore. — Droves of musicians unable to finish career-defining albums due to the distractions of modern life have begun…
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Guitar Virtuoso Seeking Talentless Metal Vocalist to Ruin Songs
RALEIGH, N.C. — Local guitar prodigy Demetri King began his grueling search for a metal vocalist to completely ruin and…
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Sunn O))) Guitarist Finally Admits That Third ) Was a Typo
SEATTLE — Longtime Sunn O))) guitarist Stephen O'Malley stunned fans when he revealed the band's name has had a glaring…
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