HOUSTON — Stranded Boeing Starliner astronauts are considering themselves lucky as a delay pushed their return back to February 2025, therefore continuing to trap them…
JEROME, Ariz. — Workers at Maynard James Keenan’s Caduceus Cellars were reportedly debating what to do with pallets of unsold “Stinkfist Chardonnay” after the Tool…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A pro-Palestine march has reportedly changed courses today after it turned back around to begin a new protest condemning the latest IDF…
BANGOR, Maine — The Ghost of Downing Manor was reportedly feeling pressure to be “on” and haunt the family that just moved into his house…
NEW YORK — Independent Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reminded voters that he also keeps a monkey with a gun next to his bed…
INDIANAPOLIS — Nu metal superfan Travis Cornwall reportedly sat his son down to have the “Nookie Talk” after the teenager started asking about the “birdz…
CHICAGO — Local residents are reportedly hunkering down and preparing for the worst after Dave Matthews Band’s private jet was scheduled to fly over the…
SEATTLE — Jerry Cantrell reportedly revealed that 1992 Alice in Chains hit “Them Bones” was actually inspired by the time he saw spooky skeletons playing…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local man Blake Crawford was reportedly heartbroken while attending his 20-year high school reunion after coming to the realization that the once…
Baja Blast Turns to Baja Bummer After Tragic Doritos Locosplosion Causes Nine Dudes To Live No Más
Baja Blast Turns to Baja Bummer After Tragic Doritos Locosplosion Causes Nine Dudes To Live No Más
LOS ANGELES — A late-night quest for the munchies turned tragic after a violent Doritos Locosplosion ripped through a Taco Bell causing nine dudes to…
If you’ve been paying attention to the Trump campaign, you might have noticed a bold change to his appearance. No, he didn’t change his trademark…
I was looking through some mail I stole when I saw an invitation to the NYC Prince’s Ball, and realized it was tonight! I knew…
NEW YORK — Former President Donald Trump proudly declared that unlike Robert F. Kennedy Jr., his brain worms were still alive and “very strong,” sources…
Tallahassee Bob here, and it’s with a heavy heart that I have to announce that my beloved Child Casino and Discount Fireworks Emporium will be…
LOS ANGELES — Crust punk Tim “Ransom” Rollins has reportedly started acting annoyingly sanctimonious ever since he moved into an abandoned Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, friends…