Just about everyone is getting sober these days. Self-destructive musicians, degenerate friends, and even Aunt Linda are laying off the booze as of late. These…
HAZLETON, Penn. — An outraged atheist berated a fellow customer in a local record shop upon overhearing a discussion that dormant hardcore act Title Fight…
The wealth divide in modern society is so deep that a clash between the haves and the have-nots is inevitable. And I am ready to…
PHOENIX — The children of the Aaronson family forgave their father Billy for leaving them with empty, growling stomachs in order to purchase overpriced Tool…
In 1972, ascendant British prog rockers Pink Floyd challenged the artist/audience relationship by releasing their concert film Live at Pompeii. The band chose to play…
WATERFORD TWP, Mich. — Presumed Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump’s campaign rallies are now limited to music by Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, and Norwegian solo…
NEW YORK — 1990s folk punk icon Phoebe Buffay announced her first live performances in over two decades which will take place this summer in…
Hey man, you ok? You’ve been looking a little down lately. From 93 til infinity, we’ve always been honest with each other. Are things going…
MORGANTOWN, W. Va. — Local dad and all-around asshole Bert Smilovic failed to understand criticism of his storytelling techniques which involve reducing all people to…
Oh no. No, no, no. This is bad. You gotta help me! Here’s the backstory. I told my idiot friend Carl that his overpriced Chase…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — DJ Crockroach of famed metal act Assfault Muffinz admitted that he spends most of his time on-stage at the band’s gigs listening…
Playing guitar is fun; learning to play guitar sucks wet ass. And no part of ascending Shred Mountain is more frustrating than attempting to master…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Diehard Wu-Tang Clan fan Jeremy Taggart recently admitted that his obsession with the legendary rap group stems mostly from the appealing fantasy…
Hey, just checking in. I know you’ve been going through a lot lately, and I want you to know I’m here for you. So what’s…
DECATUR, Ga. — Somewhat depressed Janelle Lorrie found an extra spring in her step upon remembering that conservative radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh is still deceased,…