HARDTIMES

December 10, 2020

LOS ANGELES— The 2020 Game Awards were reduced to an anemic seven minutes of content after audience members tuned in…

March 10, 2020

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at MIT’s Center for Theoretical Physics were shocked to discover that the universe as we know…

March 9, 2020

NAMEK — Local psychopath and emperor of Universe 7, Frieza, reportedly failed to turn into his final form at a…

March 3, 2020

ITHACA, N.Y. — 34-year old Don Cotton is still easily tricked into thinking that he is playing a game while…

February 12, 2020

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local six-year-old and utter failure Freddy Johnson has been unable to turn a profit from his toy…

December 11, 2019

Hail to the king, baby! Earlier today an industry leak confirmed beyond a doubt that Duke Nukem was joining the…

November 18, 2019

LOS ANGELES — Rebecca Davis solemnly performed the ancient daytime gaming ritual known as the Closing of the Blinds, shrouding…

May 13, 2019

LYON, France — Just Dance series fan, Clara Vance, reportedly danced a new Just Dance dance, according to those familiar…

March 9, 2019

TWYCROSS, U.K. — The latest patch notes for Sea of Thieves are available this week, featuring details about weapon rebalancing,…

February 28, 2019

GROTON, Conn. — In a sisyphean twist of fate, local man Nick Andino purchased Destiny 2: Forsaken, and now must…