BREAKING: Trump Nervous About First IRL Meeting With Internet Friend
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump was seen anxiously wringing his hands in the Oval Office for several hours after accepting…
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Edgar Towner — Page 4
35 stories found
I Don’t Have a Straight Edge Problem, I Can Start Drinking Whenever I Want
First things first: this is bullshit. Don’t come at me with your judgmental assumptions. There’s nothing wrong with what I’m…
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Man in Line for Blade Runner 2049 Already Prefers Director’s Cut
DENVER — Self-proclaimed film buff Logan Dwyer announced that the theatrical release of Blade Runner 2049 is inferior to the…
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New America’s Army Drone Warfare Expansion Features Suspiciously Lifelike Graphics
SAN DIEGO, Cali. — Aerial Domination, the new drone-themed expansion pack for the Army-sponsored military shooter America’s Army, has earned…
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Local Creep Way Too Supportive of Lesbian Lifestyle
DENVER — Semi-professional photographer Dennis Bachmann stands accused this morning of overenthusiastically supporting same-sex female relationships, according to multiple creeped…
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