Amidst the largest homeless crisis in modern day history, The International Olympic Committee was able to raise 7 billion dollars to bravely build temporary sports arenas all over Northern Italy. What an absolute slam dunk for all of humanity! While some non profits provide long term solutions, the IOC prefers invading a city every four years, uprooting the infrastructure, and wasting as many public and private resources as possible. Why? Because SPORTS! And flags. Do NOT forget the flags, and the waving of them.
The only cooler thing than sports is causing housing prices to rise and space to continue to tighten in the name of a patriotic dystopia that will most deeply damage the very smallest communities. Or at least that’s what Kirsty Coventry, President of the IOC, likes to whisper in the ear of the FCC just to keep them docile.
As we (The Hard Times sports section, aka those who mosh the most) roamed the city looking for positives, a local cafe owner urged us to sit down in his recently renamed cafe, I HEART NBC. “I guess we have 6 new sports arenas that fit 50,000 people each. So that must be good. Somehow. Right? I certainly like sports, but now that I think about it…those are there forever. And we don’t knock stuff down, like ever. Fuck. What the fuck was the point of this? What are all these sports stadiums for? It’s like ancient Rome all over again, but plastic.”
Just as the non-profit’s “games” came to a close this season, so did many of the buildings they rushed to make for a 6-week-long event. Even though – wait a second – we’re just now hearing that there were already enough permanent stone sports arenas in Italy for the past 100 years for the next 100 Olympics. Good to know for next time!
