Today the Hard Times listens to the third and latest full-length of New York City’s own Hank Wood and the Hammerheads. This self-titled release, like their first two records, kicks all sorts of ass. Quite frankly, it makes me want to hop in the nearest vehicle and triumphantly drive that sucker straight off a cliff into the wild blue yonder.
So, for the sake of honest music journalism, that’s exactly what I did.
I don’t have a driver’s license, so veering the car wildly off course and into a crevasse was actually pretty simple, and with the pulsing, organ-squealing thump of the Hammerheads in the air, I was mid-plummet in no time! I’d better write this sucker fast!
Do I regret my decision? Well, I didn’t at first, but now that the ground is getting closer and closer, and my life is flashing before my eyes (Dang it, I knew I should have led a more interesting life…) I’m beginning to think I was a bit rash…
But then “How’m I Supposed To Wake Up In The Morning” or “Love is a Cold White Tile” starts up and I’m back on board with my experiment – how could I ever have doubted myself? I’m a real-life Wile E. Coyote, high-fiving nervous-looking birds on my way down and honking the horn for pesky clouds to get out of my way. This is what music is all about.
Fuck it, folks. If you’ve heard this record, you’d understand. And I’ll be sure to keep a couple “parking spaces” open for you at the bottom of this ravine. Just follow the sweet strains of Wood’s sultry grunt.
Anyhow, it’s been a few years since this was released, I hope Hank and the gang make another record soon. That said, odds are, this crash is going to do some pretty heavy damage to the ol’ skeleton and who knows if I’ll be able to hear through the muffle of the body cast gauze, so it’s just as well. Until then, does anyone know the airbag situation on a 2003 Nissan Altima? You know what, never mind – I’ll find out soon enough.
Score: 10/10 vertical feet to impact.