QUINCY, Mass. — Local sound engineer Terry Crain was dejected to see an album he mastered 15 years ago for $250 is now being remastered without any of his “valuable” insight, confirmed studio interns that don’t think they will be getting any college credits.
“I take this as a direct slap in the face. This is what I get for working with a bunch of talentless punk kids, I spent at least five minutes per song making sure all the levels were absolutely fucking perfect. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother,” said Crain in the studio he hasn’t invested a single dollar in since Clinton’s first term. “I know the guys in Checkpoint were complaining that you could hear me coughing in the background of a handful of tracks, but that sort of thing adds depth to recordings. I’m sure when they play live people are wondering why nobody on stage is hacking up a lung during their favorite, well-mastered, songs.”
Checkpoint frontman Mike Campbell explained why the band decided to remaster their debut album “The Pain of a Forgotten Past.”
“My dad was friends with Terry so we figured we could save a few dollars and get a passable record,” said Campbell. “We recorded the whole album in 23 minutes. Terry didn’t let us do a second take of anything, including the part where a light fixture fell on our drummer Nate during the last song. He kept suggesting we pay him in beer, and we kept telling him we were underage. Honestly, I’m embarrassed his name is even in the liner notes. So yeah, we had Kurt Ballou remaster it because that’s what any logical person would do.”
Longtime Checkpoint fans were excited about the reissue, but admit they couldn’t really tell the difference between the two recordings.
“I guess the guitar sort of sounds a little louder in the remastered version? And maybe the vocals are a bit more clear? But that depends on whether I’m listening to it in my car or on headphones,” said former Bridge 9 forum moderator Ashlee Listford. “Ok the one thing that is definitely more clear is the soundbite they used from ‘The Boondock Saints,’ the original clip is sort of muddy sounding, but on the remastered version I can actually make out what Willem Dafoe is saying.”
Former Checkpoint drummer Allen White was also upset with the band when he wasn’t asked to play any of their reunion shows because of “politics” and having racked up six DUIs in the last year.