NEW YORK — The ASPCA announced that adoptions have increased over 600% after switching their long-standing advertising music from Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” with a two-second…
Doghouse Records formed in Ohio state when actor turned model Ronald Reagan was nearly wrapped with his second term as President of the United States…
LAS VEGAS — Heavy metal band Five Finger Death Punch recently transformed their merchandise table into a fully functioning Army recruitment center, sources close to…
As tensions across the globe rise into unprecedented levels of intense technological advancement mixed with the takedown of free will of any kind, we might…
BLOOMFIELD, Conn. — All 12 attendees of a sold-out harsh noise show were reportedly oblivious to the blaring fire alarm meant to notify them the…
The members of Rancid have been making punk music together for over 30 years. In that time, they’ve brought in a wide-ranging array of musical…
BEACON, N.Y. — A longtime apparel designer for classic rock stalwarts The Grateful Dead admitted they recently exhausted all possibilities for rad things a skeleton…
Look around, notice anything? ‘90s nostalgia is in full effect, and nothing says “‘90s” like classic Budweiser commercials. We wanted to find out how these…
DETROIT — Paula Thorne and Jesse Riggins, the only two frequently on-time people in a friend group, are reportedly absolutely sick of hanging out with…
America’s bizarre fascination with cartoon cats has existed for the entirety of our country’s existence, originating with a tortie that Alexander Hamilton doodled in the…
DALLAS — Local 45-year-old Jeff Booker appeared to have a Cornholio-impression tan line on his abdomen, hinting that he regularly reenacts the famous alter ego…
Remember The Spongmonkeys? Sure you do, they were those two fucked up-looking hamster things that convinced the world that toasting a sandwich was enough to…
TACOMA, Wash. — Mourners attending the funeral for local goth legend Joshua Proach, also known as Alistair Nightfall, weren’t sure which of the several hearses…
Unless you’re a very particular type of person, the films of David Lynch are not what come to mind when you think “comfort food.” They…
MINNEAPOLIS — General Mills announced today a new line of Nature Valley breakfast bars called “Just Chunks and Dust” that will be released to North…