SACRAMENTO, Calif.— Deftones frontman Chino Moreno was recently discovered belting out various moans and screams into an oscillating fan while working on one of his…
With the election cycle heating up and America more divided than ever the world’s most elusive supernatural creatures came out of hiding to declare their…
MIDDLETOWN, Ohio — Republican vice presidential nominee JD Vance continued to infuriate the nation by claiming that men who are childfree and own tarantulas are…
LOS ANGELES — Indie-rock band Weezer allegedly ran out of colors that are visible to the human eye on the 400nm to 750nm spectrum to…
Listen, I’ll grant that you’ve made some salient points here. However, I still feel like I’ve seen plenty of evidence to the contrary, and the…
NEW MILFORD, Conn. — Experimental grindcore outfit Invasive Eel announced a 19-track full-length album to be released exclusively on a Tiger Electronics “HitClips” cartridge, nostalgia-fueled…
IRVINE, Calif. — Taco Bell’s revamped artificial intelligence drive-thru has reportedly been making the human fingers commonly found in their burritos look unrealistic and perverse,…
PARIS — A local hardcore show instantly achieved immediate legendary status after Olympic legend Simone Biles single-handedly opened up the pit with a perfect double…
PARIS — International Olympics Committee spokesperson Mark Adams confirmed that the 3000-year-old world amateur sporting contest was “Unlikely to continue” in the wake of a…
LOS FELIZ, Calif. — A shirt bearing the logo of a professional hockey team was deemed an acceptable purchase recently as the retro-quality of the…
I think it’s fair to say that We Are Scientists is a great band but every time I listen to them there’s this feeling that…
INDIANAPOLIS — Nu metal superfan Travis Cornwall reportedly sat his son down to have the “Nookie Talk” after the teenager started asking about the “birdz…
ST. CLOUD, Minn. — Vice Presidential nominee J.D. Vance found himself in hot water again over his views regarding childless women at a recent rally…
QUEENS, N.Y. — Local man Nate McKellen was shocked to find that his landlord slapped him with a massive fine for housing undisclosed roommates after…
If you’re over the age of 30, and like me, incessantly watched TV while every other kid you knew was outside skateboarding, you probably remember…