Stephen King’s legacy as a horror visionary is as far-reaching as it is undeniable, but it should be fair to say that he, like all…
WASHINGTON — Presumptive Democratic nominee Kamala Harris attempted to boost her perception as a “cool aunt” by announcing that if elected she will let junior…
Another week, another slew of new music you couldn’t be bothered to seek out on your own. We get it, with tens upon tens of…
I want to preface this by letting you know it actively pains me to address the topic of the original Polly Pocket Airplane. It was…
TIVERTON, R.I. — Local dental hygienist Barbara McCall is bewildered why her years-long campaign of criticizing Donald Trump on Facebook for his comically tiny hands…
Summer 2024 was supposed to be my summer. I’d worked hard all year, and by June, I finally had enough money to buy an all-new…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Two rival drum circles were forced to reconcile their differences and form one civilized unemployment line, sources willing to get close…
DENVER — A multinational non-renewable energy corporation is attempting to pin all of Earth’s environmental problems on an individual from Colorado, according to sources who…
I think fad diets are as stupid as the next guy, but not all fad diets are created equal. I’ve recently taken to eating an…
As a strong proponent of animal rights, as well as someone who understands the climate impact of large-scale agriculture, I pride myself on being a…
LOS ANGELES — The newest installment of the classic punk and heavy metal documentary series “Decline of the Western Civilization” will feature a telling look…
BEDFORD, N.Y. — Matchbox Twenty lead singer and primary songwriter Rob Thomas announced that the United States of America, a divided nation caught in a…
You can’t turn on the damn TV without seeing ‘those’ people pouring over the border these days. They stomp their muddy feet on the doormat,…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at Harvard University determined that 100% of Millennials suffer from PTSD linked to exposure to the website rotten.com, confirmed sources who…
From early Greek mythology to the writing of Carl Jung, the Labyrinth has long been used as a metaphor for the human subconscious. Every night…