BETHEL PARK, Penn. — New information about Matthew Crooks, the 20-year-old registered Republican who made a failed attempt to kill former President Trump, shows his…
ARLINGTON, Texas — Americans everywhere took a brief pause from threatening to kill each other online to share that they believe Ingrid Andress should have…
JOHNSON CITY, N.Y. — Local music fan Alan Rickland was feeling a bit sad recently after the bug that had been living in his ear…
Meet Brian Holly, a man whose life took an unexpected turn at a Dave Matthews Band concert. In the concert parking lot, he took mushrooms…
RICHMOND, Va. — Banished Scumdogs of the Universe and legendary heavy metal band GWAR are reportedly planning on releasing a limited edition custom bidet that…
NEW YORK — Anthony Constantino, the co-founder of popular custom sticker maker Sticker Mule, sent a rambling email to all his customers about his bizarre…
MILWAUKEE — Prominent businessman, and guest speaker at the Republican National convention, Anthony Winston warned Democrats to tone down their harsh political rhetoric during a…
OLATHE, Kan. — Local 34-year-old Gareth Tabbler was somehow eligible to receive food stamps despite already having three full-time jobs, according to sources concerned for…
Have you ever gotten so wrapped up in what you were doing you lost sight of why you were doing it? Because we successfully campaigned…
CHICAGO — A local doggy daycare center went berserk after the Smashing Pumpkins lyric “wanna go for a ride” from the song “Zero” played on…
It’s the summer, which means it’s time for barbecues, good food, and my entire family to be scared shitless because I hijacked the playlist in…
Trump Campaign Confirms He Was Hit By Four Shots But His Love For America Acted As Bullet Proof Vest
Trump Campaign Confirms He Was Hit By Four Shots But His Love For America Acted As Bullet Proof Vest
BUTLER, Penn. — Trump campaign officials confirmed that the attempted assassination of the former President this past weekend resulted in a minor injury to his…
HOBOKEN, N.J. — Slayer superfan Dwayne Imico inadvertently discovered how much of his own puke his new Slayer Igloo cooler could successfully hold recently after…
When you see a car accident it’s tough to look away. You know you might see something that could haunt your dreams for months to…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Scientists at M.I.T’s prestigious Zoom Studies Lab reportedly identified the first online meeting to begin without terrible, meaningless small talk. “Observations on…