MOORESVILLE, N.C. — Lowe’s executives announced plans to introduce a 14-foot tall Glenn Danzig ahead of the upcoming Halloween season, confirmed multiple sources following a…
Another week, another slew of new music that you can’t be bothered to listen to. What happened to you? You used to be cool. Well,…
Everybody loves a good underdog story, so I thought I’d share mine here. My whole childhood I had teachers tell me how awful of a…
SEATTLE— 42-year-old insurance adjuster Marc Barron was recently whisked away to Pibbapalooza, a magical world in which the 1990s never ended after putting on a…
There’s a new frontier in the throes of marital and postmarital powerplay and it lies in the deeply personal and earnest letter written by a…
LITTLETON, N.H. — A recent release of a limited edition “GG Allin Chia Pet” elicited a mixed reaction due to the rather unconventional set of…
RCA Records has achieved a new form of notoriety this year with the recent salacious biographical crime drama/softcore porn flick “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik…
Look, I’ll say it plain and simple: it doesn’t matter why I already went through your supposed “lifetime supply” of Hormel Chili that I won,…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Former President Trump drew the ire of the worldwide population after posting “I HATE MOO DENG” on Truth Social at 2:37…
Hey metal fans, the ghost of Cliff Burton here. I’ve traversed the astral plane to call out The Hard Times. I couldn’t help but notice…
LOS ANGELES — Pop megastar Chappell Roan is facing backlash across the internet for her perceived unwillingness to use her celebrity status to single-handedly broker…
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Local man Brian Langley, who often proclaims he “likes all music except country and rap,” is reportedly feeling vindicated after assault allegations…
They say when you come for the king you better not miss. Fortunately for Donald Trump so far all of the former supporters who have…
LOS ANGELES – Casual Tool fan Chris Miller is perplexing scientists around the world with his ability to listen to the progressive rock band without…
So there’s this guy Jake. He just turned 30, and now he’s going on about “eliminating bad habits” and “building a healthier daily routine.” What…