Whenever I meet someone else who works in finance, they’re quick to admire my nice clothes, six-figure salary, and ability to make women test how…
BOONVILLE, N.Y. — Frequently ridiculed rock band Buckcherry were curious if they were disparaged too much or not enough in the past 25 years to…
CHARLESTON, S.C. — A new study by the College of Charleston confirms that the majority of shoppers at JoAnn Fabrics espouse stronger and more tangible…
Hey girl, saw you across the coffee shop, your face buried in a book, looking all sexy by asking the barista for ice because your…
SACRAMENTO, Calif.— Deftones frontman Chino Moreno was recently discovered belting out various moans and screams into an oscillating fan while working on one of his…
With the election cycle heating up and America more divided than ever the world’s most elusive supernatural creatures came out of hiding to declare their…
MIDDLETOWN, Ohio — Republican vice presidential nominee JD Vance continued to infuriate the nation by claiming that men who are childfree and own tarantulas are…
LOS ANGELES — Indie-rock band Weezer allegedly ran out of colors that are visible to the human eye on the 400nm to 750nm spectrum to…
Listen, I’ll grant that you’ve made some salient points here. However, I still feel like I’ve seen plenty of evidence to the contrary, and the…
NEW MILFORD, Conn. — Experimental grindcore outfit Invasive Eel announced a 19-track full-length album to be released exclusively on a Tiger Electronics “HitClips” cartridge, nostalgia-fueled…
IRVINE, Calif. — Taco Bell’s revamped artificial intelligence drive-thru has reportedly been making the human fingers commonly found in their burritos look unrealistic and perverse,…
PARIS — A local hardcore show instantly achieved immediate legendary status after Olympic legend Simone Biles single-handedly opened up the pit with a perfect double…
PARIS — International Olympics Committee spokesperson Mark Adams confirmed that the 3000-year-old world amateur sporting contest was “Unlikely to continue” in the wake of a…
LOS FELIZ, Calif. — A shirt bearing the logo of a professional hockey team was deemed an acceptable purchase recently as the retro-quality of the…
I think it’s fair to say that We Are Scientists is a great band but every time I listen to them there’s this feeling that…