BALTIMORE — Self-proclaimed beer snob Jeremy Drika pretended last night to thoughtfully peruse the beer list at a local brewpub before picking solely based on…
Dear Scabby: What does BDSM stand for? -WTF Dear WTF: BDSM refers to “blowing dildos sex machine,” or maybe “boner dive… something, something,” but can…
A cable cutting out in the middle of band practice is a highly frustrating and commonplace occurrence. A workplace hazard, even. Fortunately for the unfortunate…
LOS ANGELES — Right-wing political commentator Ben Shapiro used Logic and Reason to produce an EDM EP, according to a press release on the Daily…
LOS ANGELES — Have Heart were forced to play within the cramped quarters of the drum riser because of roughly 9,000 “of their closest friends”…
WHITMAN, Mass. — Local punk Bobby Deitz was disappointed last Friday by the Hardcore Sorting Hat, which placed him into the “Hockey Fan” house despite…
SEATTLE — Vertex Solutions employee and local bassist Gretchen Garcia is leading the fight to expand paid leave to musicians wanting to spend time with…
I love to travel. Travel is the first interest listed on all my dating apps, right above Cards Against Humanity, and “adventures,” which is basically…
SALT LAKE CITY — Employees of a local Goodwill thrift store reported a loud disturbance today, as a woman discovered several crates of religious music…
MILLWOOD, Wash. — Residents of Millwood, Wash. are reportedly confused by local pop-punk band Pacific Standard, with citizens collectively wondering what they ever did to…
SAN FRANCISCO — 38-year-old father and successful business owner Vince Martinez is still, despite all sound logic and reason, nostalgic for the absolute shittiest years…
Boy I tell ya, when they say to make sure to read the fine print they mean it! It all started two weeks ago when…
TROY, Mich. — Floor Trends Magazine editors have chosen NOFX’s 1994 skate-punk anthem “Linoleum” as the magazine’s Song of the Year for the 25th year…
VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local thrash band VomIts-Its officially canceled their summer tour yesterday after every member was forced to attend summer school, according to super-bummed…
TITTY CITY — Female Body Inspector Benjamin Travis Dover was fired this morning following several recent disciplinary incidents, forcing him to turn in his gun…