As the old adage goes, ACAB: All Cop movies Are Bad Yeah, I said it. If we ever want to have another Police Academy movie,…
NEW YORK — Local white woman Rebecca Shulz went viral today after calling The Police a better band than The Beatles in what witnesses described…
Between the emotional eating and the prolonged periods of immobility, a lengthy depressive episode is a fast track to weight gain. Fortunately, I discovered an…
FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. — Quarantined woman Andrea Wolfe admitted today that she prefers Zoom sex sans video with her new boyfriend Brad Mikulski, who…
Hey, Hometown Crush Who Peaked in High School Here, Just Sliding Into Your DMs to Say “Not All Cops”
Hey, Hometown Crush Who Peaked in High School Here, Just Sliding Into Your DMs to Say “Not All Cops”
Yesterday, 1:26pm Hey, remember me lol it’s been a while! Yesterday, 1:29pm Thought about you the other day when I ran a stop sign on…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook purged thousands of user accounts belonging to members of right-wing hate groups last week, but also inadvertently scrubbed user information…
MINNEAPOLIS — Popular retailer Target sternly pledged to its employees today that any Coronavirus they are exposed to at their stores would be generally the…
I’m sick of hearing people talk about the amazing things I do and the incredible person I am and attributing it all to what I…
KALISPELL, Mont. — The Kalispell Police Department was directed by city officials yesterday to sell its Seawolf-class nuclear attack submarine amidst nationwide protests to defund…
WASHINGTON — Republican Party sources claimed today that they are in possession of a potentially damning episode of “Room Raiders” featuring Democratic Presidential candidate Joe…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local hopeful woman Alex Ginelli spent her free time yesterday attempting to better herself by reading descriptions of $2 self-help books on…
Look at all you suckers, shelling out over a hundred dollars for forty-five minutes with some “expert” to help deal with your issues. Not me,…
NEW YORK — Violent criminals and feral animals from across the country gathered in New York yesterday to protest America’s unfair comparison of their ilk…
Members of the World Health Organization announced last Friday that the iconic Food Pyramid will be revised to include ‘feelings’ as a basic food group.…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Local man Nate Mullins, a self-described “punker” and the world’s youngest Pennywise fan, turned 40 years old earlier this week, sources…