MILWAUKEE — Local suburban father Dave Johnson made history after inadvertently performing the greatest rock and roll drum solo of all time on the willing…
Do you live in a swing state and wish you were dead from the relentless election ads? Skip all that shit (after filling out your…
Should we really let “society” determine when it is and is not appropriate to get a nice buzz on? The answer is categorically yes, if…
TAUNTON, Mass. — Local man Patrick Kelly surprised friends and family with his supposed “authentic” pronunciation of common Mexican foods after a week-long vacation in…
There was something undeniably femme in the air that day. A wind that whispered “shhhhhh” into the ears of men on the sidewalk outside the…
PITTSBURGH – Local crust punk Eric Gorski reportedly entered the stage of his life in which he only listens to Hank Williams, sources report. “Yeah,…
In these hard times sometimes putting food on the table means taking a second job or donating bodily fluids but I’ve learned that treating yourself…
BOISE, Ida. — Roland Gelford, a member of the baby boomer generation, made sure to have his awful ringtone set to maximum volume on his…
Is there a more romantic season than fall, aside from spring, summer, and winter? When the leaves start changing colors and evenings get snuggly, it’s…
MONTCLAIR, N.J. — Pioneering emo band Within Without announced the release of a new B-sides and rarities album which will let fans hear their favorite…
LONG BEACH, Calif. — The stages at the upcoming Warped Tour revival will reportedly be placed 100 feet away from the all-ages audience in order…
As anyone without children can tell you, being a childless adult is the absolute pinnacle of human existence. It rules, it’s awesome, it’s the best.…
ORLANDO, FLa. — Young fans of the legendary Warped Tour are frustrated to find that tickets for the 2025 revival tour are so expensive they…
ST. LOUIS — Guinness World Records announced that Dave Flenderson broke the world record for the longest-running Smiths phase in history, confirmed sources who didn’t…
For decades now, the dumpster witch has been known for being spotted at iconic locations like Winkie’s Diner, recurring nightmares, and some of the best…