Wealth—it is literally the only thing in the universe that validates a person’s existence. Those who have it are heroes and geniuses and the rest…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary AFI frontman Davey Havok was overheard screaming “Do you know who I am?” at Harold’s Haunted Hayride employees while being forcibly…
MT. POCONO, Penn. — Limp Bizkit singer Fred Durst recently crashed a Halloween campout and borrowed a bit of his own poetry to launch into…
Now that we’re in the throes of Spooky Season, it can be so easy to be caught up in the festivities you forget about your…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local Halloween party attendees were seen struggling to make it through all nine and a half minutes of “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” by…
On the surface, it seems like Radiohead and Kidz Bop are a match made in musical hell. But if you dig a little deeper, you…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local werewolf Steve Callahan was under fire today after an unexpected transformation left his wolf form trapped in a hot car, concerned…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Guests at a local Halloween party were struck with fear and confusion recently when a light-hearted séance conjured up the very much…
After years of denial, we at The Hard Times finally opened up and were honest with ourselves about our proclivity for nu-metal. As such, we…
BETHLEHEM, Pa. — Local conservative man and general douchebag Chet Dyker was spotted at a Halloween party this past weekend telling women dressed as sexy…
Formed just two years before the counterculture and dirty smelly hippy festival known as Woodstock, Ann Arbor, Michigan’s The Stooges proved to the world that…
CINCINNATI — Ophelia Kingsley, an esteemed thereminist who has been a featured guest player with the London Symphony, Orchestre de Paris, and the Los Angeles…
Our own vanity plays a huge part in making the “body horror” genre of movies so terrifying. One day you’re walking around in your mid-20’s…
NEW YORK — Local metalhead Noel Donner is feeling nervous about the longevity of his relationship after finding the Peter Steele issue of Playgirl hidden…
Well folks, it’s been another week filled with rapidly decreasing sunlight and gross moldy leaves that remind you of your own fleeting mortality. Nobody likes…