SAN FRANCISCO — A large drum circle in Golden Gate Park was ruined by each and every percussionist’s inability to keep a beat, understand rhythm,…
In today’s highly connected and ultra competitive world, parents want to give their children every advantage possible. As anyone who’s ever seen a Tarantino movie…
MILWAUKEE — Shockwaves were sent through all of music fandom when the world realized Canadian folk punk band Violent Femmes are in fact not Canadian…
WASHINGTON — Local punk Dave Murphy has a weirdly small TV which is causing great confusion, concern and disappointment in his social circle, according to…
DUBUQUE, Iowa — A WebMD article explaining symptoms and treatment options for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is reportedly “boring af,” according to sources who are…
The early 2010s were a much simpler time. People didn’t eat and breathe divisive politics, guitars could be found in mainstream music, and “Jersey Shore”…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local aging punk Adrian Cox, once known for outlandish behavior like snacking on shattered light bulbs, refused an hors d’oeuvre at a…
DETROIT — Local short person Elizabeth Kramer spent $90 on floor tickets for an upcoming concert after forgetting that she’s only 5’2”, sources who have…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local venue Breezy Steve’s Beer Barn now requires attendees to show proof of showering before they enter the venue, according to sources…
There are so many things to hate about this entitled millennial generation, but nothing scorches my sky more than their addiction to technology. These ungrateful…
CLEVELAND — A group of disgruntled, shoeless punks met each other’s empty gazes in a foyer as they attempted to find their own black leather…
For many guitar players, finding the perfect sound can feel more like a journey than a destination. You work hard saving up money to buy…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Clay Horton briefly paused fellating a complete stranger at a glory hole in an area gay bar to inquire if…
So I guess we’re not knocking anymore? Alright, so you caught me whacking it. You can stop freaking out. Let’s talk about this like adults.…
NEWARK, N.J. — Former Carport frontman Mikey Cooper, 42, is reportedly using his decades of experience exploring overdramatic themes to excel in his new role…