MOSES LAKE, Wash. — Your parents announced that your childhood trauma will now be officially rebranded as “how things were done in those days,” confirmed…
Well, it’s a week into 2025, and let’s just cut the bullshit right here, right now. Fuck it, 2026 will be my year. 2025 is…
WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — Disturbed onlookers rolled their eyes as local bozo Sturgill Lacey clearly envisioned himself in an opening film’s montage due to the…
NEW YORK — The New York City Police Department unveiled a new AI surveillance program that promised to help them arrest the wrong guy 70%…
Karate—the perennial backup sport for kids who weren’t coordinated enough to play soccer. And what is a more direct comparison to an uncoordinated child than…
LAUREL, Miss. — Drummer Keith Reed for the hard rock group Assistant Coach expressed a desire to contribute creatively to the band’s decisions about where…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk scene veteran Chuck Rubenfeld, known for spending the better part of the ’90s passing out on floors across the tri-state area,…
Reality TV has to be one of the most prominent vices in society today, and many people tend to be fans even if they don’t…
PHILADELPHIA — Lifelong fan of black metal Karl Donner was reportedly unsure if his fandom of Norwegian stalwarts Dimmu Borgir was acceptable among his peers,…
HELL — The underworld is in chaos after a coup d’état orchestrated by the late American diplomat Henry Kissinger sent Satan into hiding and installed…
In 1994, two charming idiots from New Hope, Pennsylvania, Aaron Freeman and Mickey Melchiondo (a.k.a. Gene and Dean Ween), gave us one of the most…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Merch guy Darren Byrum for touring band Hung Jury was found rehearsing his lack of eye contact in the bathroom of…
Six Songs We’re Listening To This Week That Aren’t Nearly As Chaotic As The State of World Right Now
Six Songs We’re Listening To This Week That Aren’t Nearly As Chaotic As The State of World Right Now
New music might not save the world or even help to change the minds of the roughly 40% of Americans who still don’t believe climate…
BOISE, Idaho — Independent thinker and free spirit Bodun Haze became mysteriously defensive when conversation at a house party shifted away from his latest yoga…
As anyone who has been married for any span of time knows, there are some days when you just gotta get the fuck outta there.…