WILMINGTON, Del. — Former President Joe Biden announced he is embarking on a new project designed to destroy the homes of innocent people living in…
WASHINGTON — The collection of white dorks that make up Elon Musk’s entourage asked for a significant raise if they are expected to publicly defend…
BEDFORD, N.Y. — Local black metal fan Dennis “Bjorn” Rubenstein celebrated the news of the Farmer’s Almanac forecasting a particularly harsh winter this year, several…
I don’t know why everyone always complains about how hard it is to quit smoking, I did it the first time no problem. All I…
CHICAGO — Nu-Metal band Disturbed revealed their 2000 hit “Down with the Sickness” was also a Simon and Garfunkel cover much like their 2015 hit…
WASHINGTON — Elon Musk’s double Nazi salute during today’s inauguration parade led to a tidal wave of approval amongst the nation’s potential school shooters, online…
WASHINGTON — Famed Harry Potter villain Lord Voldemort was spotted at Donald Trump’s Presidential Inauguration, hiding under First Lady Melania Trump’s hat, multiple sources confirmed.…
Some might say Cradle of Filth has too many albums. In fact, we’d say that. So here we go: Cradle of Filth has too many…
WASHINGTON — White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller capped off his day by rewatching the death of horse Artax in beloved 1984 children’s…
Take note, Charles Perrault! And would someone PLEASE shove the hemorrhaging corpse of Grace Kelly out of the driver’s seat?? Because there’s a new, real-life…
MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — Punk band Descendents announced a new album titled “Milo Moves to Canada” in response to Donald Trump’s election victory, which is…
BENTONVILLE, Ark. — Local naive man Collin Blakeman blissfully contributed savings to his 401(k) despite the fact there is no future in which he will…
As a creative, it has always been imperative for my art to speak to its moment without feeling confined to any particular zeitgeist. Timelessness cannot…
NEW YORK — Ahmir K. Thompson, better known as Questlove from the band The Roots, recently questioned what kind of horrible person he was in…
STARBASE, Texas — A contractor working on Elon Musk’s new Texas mega-mansion revealed that every book on the billionaire’s shelf was just a false lever…