Long Island’s brutal death metal progenitors Suffocation have been gouging out the eyes of unsuspecting music fans for well over three decades at this point.…
DERRY, N.H. — Conservative divorcee and frequent conspiracy forum visitor Ken Doherty claims his lifestyle epitomizes the punk rock ethos, according to sources who follow…
Okay, I’m just going to say something that I know a lot of people are going to take issue with, but it’s important for me…
OAKLAND, Calif. — The adoption form for an elderly dog with gangrene at Pups in Paradise Animal Shelter required everyone in the rescuer’s household to…
Zao has been around for a while. For some, they are a top 5 metalcore band. For others, they aren’t. That’s usually how it works.…
MINNEAPOLIS — Mike Curry, a local father and devoted straight-edge punk, resorted to unconventional means after discovering his son had been using marijuana, horrified sources…
Ah, the ’90s—flannel shirts, grunge music, and the unmistakable voice of Kurt Cobain. But while the world has never quite let go of Nirvana’s frontman,…
WASHINGTON. — Local 32-year-old Seth Kepling informed friends Friday night that his iPhone 13, which is covered by an AppleCare plan, actually has better insurance…
LIVINGSTON, Tenn. — Local police officer Brad Jenkins vocally expressed concern that illegal immigrants were in town eating all of the neighborhood dogs he was…
The Avengers: Earth’s mightiest heroes, super-powered beings dedicated to using their extraordinary gifts to protect the Earth. And on September 11th, 2001, they were curiously…
It’s not exactly a secret that the justice system in our country is far from perfect. The institutions in place that motivate private prisons and…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Local swing revival band Big Zipper Flame Daddies weren’t quite sure if they were three or nine decades late with their…
Last night America witnessed the first and possibly only debate between two presidential hopefuls. One of them, former president Trump, came down pretty hard on…
LOS ANGELES — A mosquito that landed on the arm of NOFX frontman Fat Mike and sucked his blood says it immediately regrets the decision,…
PHILADELPHIA — Former President Trump deviated from his prepared talking points to pay tribute to Darth Vader and the countless jobs he created running his…