WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden was reportedly startled late last night after he was unexpectedly visited by his own ghost, concerned aides confirmed. “Listen up…
Let’s all take a moment to play the world’s smallest violin for first-gen Tesla owners. On the one hand they were able to afford a…
ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Local metalhead Devon Kingsley is reportedly still feeling a slight sense of euphoria after receiving $6.66 back from a purchase he made…
The streets of New York are a little less dangerous for C-suite healthcare executives now that Luigi Mangione is in a Pennsylvania jail. But our…
MOORPARK, Calif. — Local charitable punk Branden Shaffer helped raise an unprecedented number of individual cigarettes during a holiday donation drive, according to coughing sources.…
How To Support Your Local Neighborhood Businesses Even Though They Are All Full of Shit Nobody Wants
How To Support Your Local Neighborhood Businesses Even Though They Are All Full of Shit Nobody Wants
The holidays are back once again and many feel the urgent community responsibility of purchasing their loved one’s gifts from local, neighborhood stores even though…
PENNSAUKEN, N.J. — The makers of the Scrub Daddy recently introduced a new companion product, the “Scrub Sub,” which is meticulously designed to drink up…
WASHINGTON — Democratic voters were left puzzled today after the party’s latest round of fundraising emails was just Nancy Pelosi asking if they could drive…
I’ve never wanted any special treatment for being color blind, but I do appreciate the accommodations that society has provided to me that most chromatypicals…
LAS VEGAS — Professional magician and illusionist Criss Angel recently revealed he no longer suffers from mind-freak dysfunction ever since he started using the popular…
So, you got got. It’s okay, it happens to the best of us, and it’s all part of the game! Rug pulls by dishonest internet…
NEW YORK — Hip hop mogul Jay-Z discreetly paid off Luigi Mangione’s early court costs as a sign of appreciation to the suspected assassin for…
WASHINGTON — A newly leaked Project 2025 memo revealed a recent revision that would restrict nearly all forms of birth control, with the only approved…
When we came upon the opportunity to interview Michael Sweet of the notorious Christian hair metal band Stryper, we all had a good laugh. Soon…
LOS ANGELES — Acclaimed folk musician Joanna Newsom recently announced that the long-awaited follow-up to her most recent studio album was nearing completion, pending the…