COOS BAY, Ore. — Members of Shivtank made it perfectly clear that they were absolutely not cool being associated with the nu metal genre despite…
NABLUS, Palestine — Israeli settlers who are illegally stealing land from Palestinians in the occupied West Bank are urging U.S. lawmakers to ship any smallpox-infected…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where the betrothed puts their romantic…
We learned everything we needed to know about dinosaurs from “Jurassic Park.” We learned that velociraptors are clever girls, that Wayne Knight could scream, “We’ve…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — International pop star Taylor Swift and her fresh football fiancée Travis Kelce publicly announced that they are expecting the arrival of…
WASHINGTON — President Trump showed off his physical prowess today in an attempt to dispel rumors about his failing health by climbing inside a coffin,…
SEATTLE — Researchers at the University of Washington announced breakthroughs in medical AI technology capable of detecting diseases with unaffordable treatments much earlier than comparable…
Sapiosexual is one of those words that has lost all meaning due to overuse. I think that’s because the concept of being sexually attracted to…
KENILWORTH, Ill. — Local metalhead Travis Garnette was dejected after failing to scare unsuspecting suburbanites while wandering around Lovelace Park earlier this week, unshaken witnesses…
SEATTLE — Amazon surprised its warehouse staff throughout the country today with the announcement of a mandatory 22-hour warehouse shift to commemorate Labor Day, exhausted…
LOS ANGELES — Showrunners for the hit show “Yellowstone” announced that they are planning a new spinoff series that will take place entirely within a…
So I knew this total jagoff Kevin Kergis, who everyone was absolutely certain peaked in high school. Unfortunately, he’s been having a real renaissance in…
DAYTON, Ohio — You settled for talking about Lamb of God with your coworker Nate Hollis after he heard you blasting Autopsy’s “Severed Survival” in…
Another summer is ending. Soon the leaves will change color and our outside plants will die. We’ll be reminded of our mortality, and mourn the…
ARLINGTON, Va. — Local restaurant the Green Garden began serving mocktails which are perfect for the person who doesn’t want to drink, but still wants…