You all know me, you know how I make a living. For decades, I’ve spooked young and old alike with my charmingly macabre tales of…
MINNEAPOLIS — The appearance of an unremarkable cloud in the sky enraged pedestrians in Uptown, prompting a police response in a part of the city…
EASTON, Md. — Local misogynist Bryce Turner is starting to suspect that he, in addition to MSNBC, are to blame for his inability to convince…
If you’re anything like me, you like to end a nice long day of crushing it at your dead-end job by perusing Tubi for movies…
“That Kind of Music Sounds All The Same,” Says Fucking Genius Friend Who Figured Out How Genres Work
“That Kind of Music Sounds All The Same,” Says Fucking Genius Friend Who Figured Out How Genres Work
UPPER ARLINGTON, Ohio — Local fucking genius music critic Sam Buchman recently made very poignant critiques of all of their friends music tastes after pointing…
NEW YORK CITY — Local woman Ashleigh Deacon officially replaced her morning positive affirmations with the entirety of Fiona Apple’s 1997 MTV Video Music Awards…
Oh man, we really need to do more research before we set up our interviews. To be fair, we are not huge nu-metalheads, but that’s…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Jason Ulbrych was arrested after being accused of selling burned CDs out of his locker full of MP3s he downloaded…
WASHINGTON — President Trump threatened the residents of the nation’s capital by saying that if they don’t fall in line and obey the orders of…
LOS ANGELES — Emergency crews were dispatched to the newly opened Tesla Diner after six patrons were left with life-threatening injuries as a result of…
I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m a perfect person. We’ve all had times when we’ve failed to meet the moment. But if…
ENUMCLAW, Wash. — Local Christian rock band Trust Fall revealed that they are waiting until marriage to write any songs related to sexual intercourse, confirmed…
ORLAND PARK, Ill. — Local 17-year-old Nick Stultus espoused his libertarian philosophies in every social interaction, even if doing so prevented him from being invited…
Guys, I need to be honest. I’ve been in a creative slump, and nothing seems to be working. I’ve been studying the work of the…
COUNCIL BLUFFS, Iowa — Music critic Sophie McKennitt brutally lambasted her mother’s cooking during a recent visit home, according to stunned cousins. “As a child…