Let’s face it, liking a legendary group’s most popular song can make you come across as an unseasoned veteran of a band’s fandom. It’ll look…
SIERRA VISTA, Ariz. — The National Association of Bird Lovers (NABL) finally ended years of speculation and admitted that their seemingly wholesome activity was based…
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, which is the time of the week I get particularly randy. My name is Bob Powell, and I have…
ATHENS, Ga. — Beloved local bar and music venue Whiskey Dick McGraw’s is facing backlash from confused and disappointed punks due to the apparently above-standard…
Winter is coming back to Michigan. The stench of the dogfood factory won’t leave your clothes. But at least Oasis is back together! Time to…
A lot of the Transformers we know and love have changed over the years. Some of those changes make sense, like cosmetic updates to their…
LOS ANGELES — Alleged pedophile and formerly popular rapper Drake hopes a friend can get him hired at Trader Joe’s until the fallout of his…
A month ago today, I was hit by a minivan in a Golden Corral parking lot. A tunnel of white light enveloped me with a…
CHICAGO — Longtime fans of The Smashing Pumpkins are reportedly shocked and infuriated that the band’s latest release, “Aghori Mhori Mei,” is actually pretty darn…
There’s never been a more dangerous time to be a young American. School shootings have been steadily on the rise in this country, and shooters…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Troy Floor, lead singer of the band Surfside, was apparently really showing off that he knew all the words to his…
Making new friends as an adult can be challenging. But fear not, good reader—here are our tried-and-true tips for how to make a brand new…
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Local resident and supposed Staind fan Brandon Vintner wasn’t even present at the attempted coup on the U.S. Capitol on January…
QUINCY, Mass. — Supermarket chain Stop & Shop announced that their stores would no longer sell cigarettes due to poor sales from the vast decline…
BLACK ROCK CITY, Nev. — A troubling economic report revealed that 48% of this year’s projected Burning Man attendees don’t have enough of their parents’…