STERLING, Va. — Well-meaning local mother Marla-Sue Crenna reportedly left a record-breaking lull in the story she was in the middle of telling as she…
Here the fuck we go again. You swore if mom’s friend Gwen compared your music career to her jewelry business one more time you would…
WEST CHESTER, Penn. — Self-proclaimed “DIY bro” Clifton Mansfield reportedly concocted a convoluted and completely fictitious backstory as to how he discovered his favorite new…
LOS ANGELES — Internet commenters who enjoy wasting their valuable time leaving snide remarks on social media posts by canned beverage purveyors Liquid Death were…
RENO, Nev. – Local music fan Roger Dalton remains steadfast in his opinion that Poison’s seminal hit “Talk Dirty to Me” is a “fucking jam”…
Named after a freeway exit near their practice space, and often mispronounced by people who have only read it, (it rhymes with “Skater”) Sleater-Kinney have…
WASHINGTON — Local man Michael Korey spent the last couple of days frantically searching for a second job after seeing multiple Goldendoodles around his neighborhood,…
Holy fucking shit! Some of you may not believe it when I tell you this, but yesterday I came upon the most talented street performer…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local record store Death and Waxes added “staff pick” signs at certain urinals in their restroom to let customers know which ones…
Ah yes, Killswitch Engage. The rooster’s crow of the metalcore world. The band you can set your watch to. Every few years they’re gonna put…
Easycore is the genre hybrid of pop-punk (emphasis on the pop) and hardcore. Its roots date back to the early 2000s and it became a…
MINNEAPOLIS — Touring sludge metal band Butt Abduction recently realized they can’t fire their deadbeat merch guy until they’re able to regain access to the…
PARIS, France — Daft Punk reportedly re-joined forces after officially disbanding in 2021 in order to collaborate with manufacturing giants 3M on a new collection…
Today is the day we officially announce The Lawrence Arms as “The Hard Times’ favorite band of all time” (this could change tomorrow). In honor…
The Next Health Guru? This Man Turns Into a Diet and Fitness Expert Every Time He Sees an Article About Lizzo on Facebook
Throw away those workout DVDs, cancel your Weight Watchers membership, and unfollow your favorite fitness influencer on TikTok because there’s a hot new health expert…