KEENE, N.H. — Local man Wesley Peck is on day two of an absolute meltdown after being asked what his favorite band is, unsurprised sources…
Well, this was certainly unexpected. Here I am, a relatively law-abiding American citizen, trying to submit my application for a simple “License To Ill” only…
WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden announced he would be scrapping his plans for a reelection campaign citing low ticket sales due to his waning popularity…
WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden assured the nation of his cognitive faculties by publicly releasing his Highlights magazine “Can You Spot the Difference?” quiz results,…
I never thought I’d be a cautionary tale. But now I know you should never get blackout drunk in front of your old friends from…
FARMINGTON, Mich. — Legendary rockstar, and noted climate change denier Ted Nugent excitedly unveiled the world’s first gas-powered guitar to stick it to the tree-hugging…
Everyone’s heard of Nostradamus, that famous old French dude who was an expert at predicting world events. But what if I told you that I…
If there’s one thing that drives me crazy it’s when I see other adults break out the tired “kids these days” complaint for being lazy…
CHATHAM, Mass. — Struggling married couple Danny Holland and Mark Brewster admitted they are privately rooting for implementation of Project 2025 which would outlaw gay…
SEATTLE — Microsoft officials revealed the global internet outage affecting airlines and critical infrastructure systems around the world was caused when the computer programs running…
LEXINGTON, KY. — Lily Jones, personal therapist to resident Alex Hirata, would like him to know that yes it’s okay to masturbate as a form…