Did you hear that there’s a recession around the corner? You may be completely broke, but you are going to hang out in cafes, by…
GAZA CITY — Members of the far-right Israeli government rejected a recent ceasefire proposal after they realized they would also be expected to stop all…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local audio engineer Kent Barger was once again frustrated after receiving accusations of being a phony for not knowing the ultimate “sound…
Like the quests for the Fountain of Youth or the Holy Grail, I too have spent what feels like eons searching for something I thought…
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — Pop legend and fashion icon Elton John has reportedly ditched his jewel encrusted eyeglasses for a more sensible pair of rhinestone…
It’s not uncommon for a comic book title to change writers several times throughout its history, but when Alan Moore took over “Swamp Thing” in…
TORONTO — Drake shocked the world when he released a new diss track aimed at Kendrick Lamar where the Canadian rapper claims he has been…
NEW YORK — A group of admittedly “horned-up” and “desperate” ornithologists confessed that the majority of questionable bird names were direct results of their uncontrollable…
It’s been said there are no such thing as coincidences, and that naturally occurring phenomena can be explained no matter how bizarre it may first…
MANCHESTER — New wave obsessive and romantic introvert Jana Chapman is disappointed to find herself in a love triangle that no one could possibly consider…
Another week, another abbreviated introductory paragraph. You know what you’re here for, get on down and listen to our staff picks. Full of Hell “Transmuting…
So your favorite company did something ethically wrong and you want to start a boycott. Congratulations! A lot of people are under the impression that…
SUN PRAIRIE, Wis. — Overconfident white guy Randall Weiss, who frequently proclaims his “life is a movie,” is reportedly ignorant to the fact that said…
Hola. Mucho gusto. That means “Hi, pleased to meet you.” Did I learn that from your little fucking owl? ¡No! (That means “No!”). I learned…
HAMAMATSU, Japan — Pedal manufacturer BOSS announced that they will finally be releasing a pedal that sounds like Jack Black scatting a very dope guitar…