KIRBY, Wyo. — Local woman Madison Fuller announced today via multiple social media platforms that she is expecting to be a MILF sometime around mid-June of next year, according to weirdly delighted sources.
“Ever since I was a young girl and first heard ‘Stacey’s Mom,’ I dreamt of becoming a mother who people lusted after. God has answered my prayers!” Fuller shared in an Instagram story featuring a sensual photo of Fuller’s derriere in a thong studded with rhinestones reading, “Mom 2 Be.” “I’m thrilled we’re expecting the arrival of a yummy mummy soon and expanding our family’s sexual desirability. Every day, we are a little closer to meeting the MILF I’ll soon become. Swipe up for hotttt picz!”
Fuller’s obstetrician-gynecologist Dr. Zack Sutherland had only positive news about the pregnancy.
“After a full physical exam, I can confirm things are developing… nicely, if you know what I’m saying,” confirmed Sutherland, while making a boob shape with his hands before giving a high five. “Already, the pregnancy really gives the prospective mother a glow that takes her from just another gross, 30-year-old middle aged woman, to a whole new category of sexual fantasy.”
“I’m optimistic we’ll be able to do a C-section, too. No need to slash a perfectly good gash,” Sutherland added with an aggressive elbow nudge.
Fuller’s husband Zhihao Qiang has been ecstatic since his wife shared the good news.
“I cannot express how excited I am to be a daddy to a hot mom,” said Qiang. “I can’t wait to squeeze those big ol’ cheeks and tickle those thick-ass thighs — I can already imagine taking her to her first baseball game as a MILF and showing her off to the whole crowd.”
“More than anything, I can’t wait to see the look of pride in my father’s eyes when I stroll up with that hot mom-bod on my arm. It was always my mother’s dream to be a GILF — I’m so sad she won’t be around to level up to Mature Grandma Hot search term status,” Qiang added, his eyes welling up.
When asked about the upcoming child, Fuller assured friends and family, “I guess we’re keeping it.”