Scientists Concerned After Discovering New Strain of Hulkamania in Livestock
DALLAS — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control raised warning flags about a new strain of Hulkamania found in…
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The Hard Times Staff — Page 4
917 stories found
Right Wing Rap-Rock Band Releases New Single “Cop Kisser”
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local rap-rock band Antagonyze released their latest single “Cop Kisser” which they say should act as a…
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MAGA Influencer Volunteers to Spend Two Months In El Salvadoran Mega-Prison to Prove It’s Not So Bad
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Popular conservative influencer Jake Fowler intends to “own the libs” by spending two months in a notorious…
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Trump Announces Child Support Delinquency Payment Relief for Any Man Enlisting as ICE Agent
WASHINGTON — President Trump announced a new program to help boost ICE enlistment numbers by promising to forgive any debt…
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Sex Worker Who Laughed at Elon Musk’s Penis Labeled Domestic Terrorist in Latest Trump Executive Order
WASHINGTON — Local sex worker Jasmine Lawler is facing years behind bars after being labeled a domestic terrorist because she…
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Pinback’s “Penelope” Nominated for “Best Song About Goldfish Ownership” for 24th Year in a Row
SAN DIEGO — Members of the indie rock group Pinback celebrated after their song “Penelope” was once again named the…
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Signal Updates Terms of Service to Forbid Users From Using Platform to Plan Deadly Airstrikes Using the World’s Biggest Military
SAN FRANCISCO — Developers behind the encrypted messaging app Signal updated their terms of service to forbid users from organizing…
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Jock Who Beat the Crap Out of You in High School Suddenly World’s Foremost Expert on What Being “Punk” Actually Means
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Your former high school bully, and current Washington State Trooper Adam Wisk, surprised veteran members of the…
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New Bi-Partisan Bill Sets Aside Money to Train Out-of-Work Midwestern Farmers to Write Introspective Emo Songs
WASHINGTON — Members of the House of Representatives passed an increasingly rare bi-partisan bill that will set aside money to…
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Democratic Congressman Travels Back in Time to Hold Up Tiny Sign Near Baby Hitler
BRAUNAU AM INN, Austria — Democratic Congressman David Eastlund of Nevada bent the rules of time and space as we…
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