I Smoked Crack for This Article and Forgot to Take Notes!
Oh shit you guys, this is not good. I’m fucked. I pitched this article where I would smoke crack and write…
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Mark Roebuck
352 stories found
Donald Trump Threatens Consequences For CD Burners
WASHINGTON -- President-elect Donald J. Trump continued a streak of controversial remarks today, tweeting a desire for strict punishment of…
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Mike Pence Booed At Gay Orgy
PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- U.S. Vice President-elect Mike Pence once again found himself in an uneasy position with constituents he will…
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Trump Appoints Your 8th Grade Bully Secretary of Defense
WASHINGTON -- The U.S. President-elect’s series of controversial cabinet appointments continued today, as Donald J. Trump appointed Mike Stanton, your…
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Society Is Turning Into Exactly What I Bet the Book 1984 Is About
The election has come and gone and now more than ever we are under the watchful, all-knowing eye of the…
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New Homeowners Unaware Scene Once Died In Basement
AUGUSTA, Maine -- When newlyweds Rachel and Martin Coogan closed on their first house three months ago, they anticipated a…
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Bored Girlfriend at Show Makes Daring Escape in Box of Merch
AUSTIN, Texas -- Natalie Gladstone successfully completed a daring escape from her boyfriend’s show last night, sneaking out of the…
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Iggy Pop Asks Kids With Shirts To Buy Him Beer
DETROIT -- A topless Iggy Pop asked a group of teenagers early last night to enter a local convenience store…
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Stand-Up Bassist Not That Funny
LOS ANGELES -- “Swingin’” Jack Denton, stand-up bassist for local psychobilly outfit The Hell Bats, used his band’s performance at…
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Gary Johnson Announces Plans to Watch Monday Night Raw
TAOS, N.M. -- Libertarian Presidential candidate Gary Johnson announced early Monday that he would be viewing World Wrestling Entertainment’s flagship…
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