HARDTIMES

August 27, 2025

Are you in need of profile photos for Instagram or Hinge? Don't want to hire a photographer because the boys…

April 29, 2025

CHICAGO — Local woman Wendy Sachs felt “incredibly lucky” to hear the worst cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” ever written…

April 8, 2025

CHICAGO — Death Crack bassist Tim Bolz said he was “totally fine” with writing his own birthday post on the…

March 19, 2025

SAN FRANCISCO — Pop punk archaeologists uncovered shocking evidence that ancient Green Day fans boiled captives alive inside of hollow…

February 5, 2025

I had a hard year. I was laid off, lost my healthcare and my dog. My wife left me and…

October 22, 2024

It's been days since we were first trapped inside this supermarket by the mist. Anyone who goes outside is doomed…

July 10, 2024

Hey, pervert! I see you fingering through the Roxy Music vinyls a little slower than all the other sections of…

October 29, 2023

ADELAIDE, Australia — Iconic movie monster the Babadook was recently seen chain-smoking in a Hungry Jack’s parking lot after learning…

October 22, 2023

CHICAGO — Area metal band Blood Fuel was left reconsidering their group’s future after hearing a man adjust his chair…

August 8, 2023

I’m the first to admit my band’s set last night was bad. Guitar solos were flubbed, vocals were way off…