It’s been days since we were first trapped inside this supermarket by the mist. Anyone who goes outside is doomed to be butchered by horrible…
Hey, pervert! I see you fingering through the Roxy Music vinyls a little slower than all the other sections of the record store. Trying to…
ADELAIDE, Australia — Iconic movie monster the Babadook was recently seen chain-smoking in a Hungry Jack’s parking lot after learning it was a metaphor for…
CHICAGO — Area metal band Blood Fuel was left reconsidering their group’s future after hearing a man adjust his chair in a coffee shop at…
I’m the first to admit my band’s set last night was bad. Guitar solos were flubbed, vocals were way off key and the only pocket…
The origins of Dio can be traced back to of all things a mixing disagreement for a live album. Band namesake Ronnie James Dio and…
The “power trio” has existed forever, but no one did it like Morphine. Led by fretless two-string bass maestro Mark Sandman, with support from saxophone…
CHICAGO – Sex bot and general scammer SEXsingleMAlloRy was shocked to discover she was a fan of Chicago band Rat Ass’ new music, tech sources…
Few good things have come from the irradiated wastes of Ohio. It’s an unforgiving realm of demons, bloodthirsty mutants, and sorcery (probably, we’ve never been).…
No trip to Whole Foods is complete without a playlist filled with R.E.M. songs. Georgia’s jangle-pop troubadours have entertained the high-end grocer’s customer base of…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Fender recalled a new line of guitars and basses that moan, grunt and scream while being tuned after weeks of constant complaints…
Choosing the wrong engineer for your album might ruin your music. My band, Butt Age, found that out the hard way when we hired the…
CHICAGO — Local Guitar Center employee Bridget Wolf carefully cut a fresh guitar strap from a rotating spit before serving it to an eager customer…
It’s hard to stay anxiety-free in our crazy world. Whether it’s the newest national tragedy, workplace havoc, or trouble at home, it may often feel…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local goth Matilda Flowers spent the afternoon wistfully staring at a pair of crows eating a pile of Funyuns next to a dumpster…