You know, folks, there’s a question that keeps me up at night, and I think it’s time we all start asking it out loud. What…
BALTIMORE, Md. — 23-year-old Olympic champion Erica Webb’s triumphant return home was filled with fanfare and excitement as she can’t wait to pawn her newly-won…
CLEARWATER, Fla. — Local metalhead Rickey Ray Reynolds asked officers if he could change into his favorite Morbid Angel t-shirt before his mugshot was taken…
Every friend group has one—the person who, despite all evidence to the contrary, insists on believing the most outrageous things. For us, it’s Greg. And…
With the election cycle heating up and America more divided than ever the world’s most elusive supernatural creatures came out of hiding to declare their…
ST. LOUIS — Local wedding DJ Ron “Mixmaster” McAllister was left in a state of utter bewilderment last Saturday after discovering that all music did…
LAS VEGAS — Heavy metal band Five Finger Death Punch recently transformed their merchandise table into a fully functioning Army recruitment center, sources close to…
LEMI, Finland — The International Heavy Metal Association (IHMA) agreed today to accept that “Beer” and “Professional Wrestling” will be recognized as official subgenres for…
WASHINGTON — An army of dads from across the nation descended upon the capital in a wave of cargo shorts and socks with sandals to…
Limp Bizkit’s ‘Significant Other’ has hit the quarter-century mark this year and so does the anniversary of you losing your virginity. Unfortunately, the two are…
“It’s a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time!” To celebrate one of the only days a year people…
LOS ANGELES — Occasional musician and filmmaker Rob Zombie admitted that his foray into the cinematic arts was driven by a lack of fresh horror…
In a world full of gourmet options and high culinary standards, I, Tony DeMarco of Tony’s Pizzeria in the middle of nowhere Indiana, take great…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Disney’s beloved icon Mickey Mouse was unceremoniously fired after a decades-old airbrushed image of him smoking a joint recently surfaced online, Disney…
Threads Users Hearing Rumors That Biden Is Considering Dropping Out of Presidential Race
SAN FRANCISCO — Users on the social media platform Threads were recently abuzz with news that President Joe Biden might be considering dropping out of…