The Next Michale Graves? This Proud Boy Turns Into a Big Whiny Crybaby Every Saturday Night
If you're a Misfits fan, you know you have to pick a side. It's either “Team Danzig,” or it's “Team…
Read More →
Chris Bowen — Page 4
206 stories found
Millennial’s Alcoholism Traced Back to Prolonged Exposure to Attitude-Era WWE as a Child
PHILADELPHIA — Local 36-year-old Dennis Waller’s out-of-control alcohol problem can evidently be traced back to the large amount of mid-to-late…
Read More →
Guy Wearing Mercyful Fate Shirt Inside 200-Year-Old Church Kind of Disappointed He Didn’t Burst into Flames Upon Entering
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local heavy metal fan Eric Tullman was saddened that the Mercyful Fate shirt he was wearing while…
Read More →
4th Installment of “Decline of Western Civilization” to Focus on Depressing World of Punks Becoming Conservative Nutjobs
LOS ANGELES — The newest installment of the classic punk and heavy metal documentary series “Decline of the Western Civilization”…
Read More →
Ancestry Report Reveals Henry Rollins Over 20% Thwomp
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A recent ancestry report revealed that a small portion of hardcore legend Henry Rollins’ DNA could be…
Read More →
Wow! “Smilin’ Bob” From the Enzyte Commercials Still Has an Erection Despite Being Dead for 6 Years
If you’re over the age of 30, and like me, incessantly watched TV while every other kid you knew was…
Read More →
We Caught up with the Budweiser Frogs Because We’re Curious About the Ravaging Effects of Alcohol on Amphibians
Look around, notice anything? ‘90s nostalgia is in full effect, and nothing says “‘90s” like classic Budweiser commercials. We wanted…
Read More →
Bug That Crawled Into Man’s Ear While Using FYE Listening Station in 2002 Finally Dies
JOHNSON CITY, N.Y. — Local music fan Alan Rickland was feeling a bit sad recently after the bug that had…
Read More →
Metalhead Discovers How Much Vomit New Slayer Igloo Cooler Can Hold After First Use
HOBOKEN, N.J. — Slayer superfan Dwayne Imico inadvertently discovered how much of his own puke his new Slayer Igloo cooler…
Read More →
Most Vomit-Inducing Cannibal Corpse Album Cover Yet Shows Image of Ordinary British Food
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Legendary death metal band Cannibal Corpse shocked fans and anyone with eyes recently with the revealing of…
Read More →