BIG FLATTS, N.Y. — 51-year-old nu-metal fan Ricky Clud recently expressed that Saliva’s early 2000s classic “Click Click Boom” was the secret to getting hyped…
As you probably know, FUCKIN’ SLAYYYYERRRR! But unfortunately, there are some people out there who are unaware. Yes, I know, it is very sad. What’s…
LOWELL, Mass. — Sober punk Michael McDuff impressed music fans and mental health professionals alike with his ability to listen to Celtic punk band Dropkick…
I’ll admit, gambling isn’t easy. And take it from me, the guy who spent every cent he had feeding a penny slot machine for 14…
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — Metal show promoter Gary Pearson allegedly requires local bands to sell a minimum of 50 tickets and perform an embarrassing dance in…
So it finally happened. Word got out at work that you play an instrument and now that one coworker who plays bass wants to jam…
PHILADELPHIA — Local band Pugilist came under intense scrutiny within the Oi! scene due to the fact that nowhere does the word “cock” exist in…
CORTLAND, N.Y. — Local millennial Jacob Horwitz felt nostalgic for a time when corporate rental giant Blockbuster moved into his town and destroyed his aunt…
WEBSTER, N.Y. — Leading music experts unanimously agreed that arguments between fans over which metal bands are considered to be part of which subgenres is…
FULTON, Ill. — Several fire department officials deemed a recent fire at a local Christian church to be caused by the chapel’s decades-old electrical wiring…
ST. LOUIS — Members of Metallica, the biggest and undoubtedly most financially successful metal band of all time, are suing a 27-year-old fan for producing merchandise…
CHICAGO — Several TSA agents at O’Hare International Airport detained metal fan Aex Parker for attempting to board a flight to Germany while carrying an…
It’s no secret the world is becoming more and more difficult for the working man such as myself to make ends meet. Be it Self-checkouts…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A recently discovered painting of Leonardo da Vinci’s the lost lower half of “Mona Lisa” depicted the subject wearing JNCO jeans,…
ELMIRA, N.Y. — Local Wendy’s employee Jared Snyder was blissfully unaware that the broom he had picked up to play air guitar with in a…