HAYWARD, Calif. — Local man Nathaniel Poppavich is hell-bent on claiming his “rightful place in history” as the inventor of placing potato chips inside of…
You can only refer to your spouse as Pinhead so many times. “It’s not a cute nickname!” she says. If only she understood this was…
Winter is coming back to Michigan. The stench of the dogfood factory won’t leave your clothes. But at least Oasis is back together! Time to…
You rebel, you. Doing your thing in the sun. Blithely walking through life undisturbed. Tossing your hair without care. Sounds like you’re having a “brat…
BEND, Ore. — Local amateur historian and occasional beloved family member Paul Poppavich vehemently dismisses news of fascism’s rising international tide, despite an encyclopedic knowledge…
LISTERVILLE, Calif. — Tourists from across various southern California locales flocked to the sleepy town of Listerville outside of the Sequioa National Forest to witness…
WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden assured the nation of his cognitive faculties by publicly releasing his Highlights magazine “Can You Spot the Difference?” quiz results,…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Local retiree Mitch Danfork was seen standing directly in front of a pickup counter and observing his meal’s preparation with the…
LOS ANGELES — Local man Dwayne Jeffers’ enjoyment of a recent show was overshadowed by his debilitating anxiety at leaving at the same time as…
Did you hear that there’s a recession around the corner? You may be completely broke, but you are going to hang out in cafes, by…
Has every local coffee shop banned you for talking too much about Pavement? Good news, there’s a new cafe opening up in a nearby neighborhood!…
MONTEREY, Calif. — Recently retired father Fred Maligno has set up a 360-degree investigation into the car that mysteriously appeared parked in front of his…
I was hoping for a quiet weekend. Watering plants near the window, I noticed my neighbor outside, clutching his chest. It’s a heart attack and…
DURHAM, N.C. — Researchers at Duke University made the startling discovery that the male brain does not fully mature until death, confirmed sources who didn’t…
Another year, another plan to disappear completely and never be found. It’s not an instinct universally shared, but how else are you going to cash…