MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Former psychobilly luminaries The Rot Hodders were revealed to be accidentally misdiagnosed and will be moving forward as a “sociobilly” band, medical officials confirmed.
“I find that my lack of a conscience just makes more room in my brain for song ideas. And the bleak, vacuum-like deadness behind my eyes? Just space for even more song ideas,” opined Rot Hodders frontman “Kansas Dan” Freberg, while squashing a mother spider in front of its young. “You see these flames on my shirt? Well, funny story, they’re actual photographs of the multiple fires I’ve started around the tri-county area. Beautiful, aren’t they? Lives may have been lost, but I like to think they live on in our revved up rockabouts, baby. Hoo yeah.”
Certain band members were reportedly shocked and even terrified by the new direction the band took.
“These guys freak the shit out of me. How am I supposed to keep the beat when I see the upright bassist hack the neck off his instrument mid-song with a glean in his eye I’ve only seen in rabid beasts? Sure, their riffs are red hot, but I’ve got a bad feeling about these guys!” said new drummer Peyton Wrigs, while actively shivering. “Then I’ll get to thinking, oh god, what happened to the drummer I’m replacing? I’ve never gotten the nerve to ask ‘em because they’re always sharpening something or cheering on that bug zapper outside our rehearsal space. If I don’t survive this tour, you’ll know why.”
Local psychiatrist Dr. Terrald Beams apologizes for his initial diagnosis.
“This band is an actual threat to society, and I’m not just trying to sound like I’m giving them street cred or whatever,” emphasized Dr. Beams. “An actual, factual, danger to those around them. Like, these guys should actually probably be locked up somewhere away from others and, to a lesser extent, their electric hollowbody guitars. I think I got lost in their rapid fire guitar licks, and for that, I deeply apologize.”
At press time, a petrified Wrigs escaped the Rot Hodders to drum for an “agoraphobibilly” band that never leaves their practice space.