Crust Punk Sets Sail for Fabled Promised Land of Pacific Garbage Patch
SAN FRANCISCO — A local crust punk announced plans to set sail on open waters to discover the fabled promised…
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Trevor Graham
80 stories found
Local Man Proud of Self For Outsmarting Housefly
DENVER — A local mediocre man spent several days feeling proud about himself after outsmarting a housefly that had been…
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Family Evicted from Home by Democrat Hoax
BRANSON, Mo. — A family of four was evicted from the home of twelve years due to a Democrat hoax…
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Local Man Only Able to Express Emotion Using “I Think You Should Leave” GIFs
PEORIA, Ill. — Local 43-year-old Dan Reynolds lost the ability to verbally communicate with loved ones and is only able…
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New “Yellowstone” Spinoff to Be Shot Entirely Inside of Dodge Ram 3500 Longhorn
LOS ANGELES — Showrunners for the hit show “Yellowstone” announced that they are planning a new spinoff series that will…
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Conservative Dad Who Exclusively Watches History Channel Learns Nothing From It
WICHITA, Kan. — Local 62-year-old dad Carl Strungis reportedly spends hours glued to The History Channel, absorbing absolutely nothing except…
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Liberal Now Boycotting Google, Meta, Apple, Amazon, and X Spends Free Time Staring Blankly at Wall
BOSTON — Local liberal Brian Mullins, who is boycotting any company that he sees as supporting a fascist regime, spends…
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Crushing Blow Dealt to Oligarchy as Local Man Creates Bluesky Account
DULUTH, Minn. — The massive tech billionaire-run oligarchy suffered a devastating blow today as local account coordinator and frisbee golf…
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42-Year-Old Punk Not Sure What to Be When He Grows Up
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local 42-year-old punk Chet Roberts, who has spent the last 27 years living day-to-day in suspended teenage…
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Trump Says Statue of Liberty Is “A Six, at Best”
WASHINGTON — President Trump commented on the appearance of the Statue of Liberty calling it a “six, at best” during…
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