BENTONVILLE, Ark. — Local naive man Collin Blakeman blissfully contributed savings to his 401(k) despite the fact there is no future in which he will…
Oh man, have you seen my Cybertruck? It’s so fucking sick, dude. Just look at it. It’s like something straight out of a 1980s dystopian…
Well, it’s that magical time of the year again. It’s the holidays and all that capitalist bullshit that we used to make fun of when…
The influence Bad Brains has had on the punk and hardcore scenes over the past four decades can’t be understated. And we don’t just mean…
MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. — Families with young children across the country announced their plans to find you in a restaurant and sit at an adjacent table…
PEORIA, Ill. — A masked member of a local militia who was harassing people waiting in line to vote embarrassingly forgot where he left his…
Recent clips of Frankie Valli performing at the age of 90 have reignited the conversation about elder abuse in this country. While celebrity cases shine…
LOS ANGELES — B-list celebrities from every facet of the entertainment industry announced their plan to randomly appear in some casino gambling app you’ve never…
INDIANAPOLIS — Cyndi Lauper’s 1983 hit song “Time After Time” being played in a Trader Joe’s supermarket caused a man to have an actual emotional…
BOISE, Ida. — Roland Gelford, a member of the baby boomer generation, made sure to have his awful ringtone set to maximum volume on his…
Florida is America’s punchline. And for the most part rightfully so since it has given us so many awful things and deserves the mockery. But…
20 Misfits Songs That Will Get You Kicked Out of the PTA for Playing at a Children’s Halloween Party
20 Misfits Songs That Will Get You Kicked Out of the PTA for Playing at a Children’s Halloween Party
Well, it’s that spooky time of year again. Halloween is almost here and now that you’re a parent with young children it’s time for the…
Edging, the practice of sexually stimulating oneself up to the point of arousal without achieving climax for some reason, may have a new trend. Local…
RICHMOND, Va. — Members of a new unnamed metal band were forced to watch every episode of the Amazon Prime show “Rings of Power” to…
LOS ANGELES — A mosquito that landed on the arm of NOFX frontman Fat Mike and sucked his blood says it immediately regrets the decision,…