HARDTIMES

July 16, 2025

DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local Submissive Seventh fan and total dweeb Derek Maldonado reportedly threw away any remaining ounce of self-respect…

February 12, 2025

Following years of penning autobiographical depictions of killing babies and stealing the toes and teeth of girls at Lovers Lane,…

February 11, 2025

Imagine my surprise when what started off as a run-of-the-mill midnight ride to my local Food 4 Less became a…

January 5, 2025

Your parents are kind of like real-life superheroes when you’re growing up, so when they sit you down at the…

December 20, 2024

As the unofficial assistant hiring manager for Frankie’s Frozen Pizzas Incorporated, I’ve seen my fair share of disrespectful candidates, but…

December 11, 2024

I’ve never wanted any special treatment for being color blind, but I do appreciate the accommodations that society has provided…

December 9, 2024

As you begin down the path toward better mental health, it’s important to keep in mind that progress is not…

November 11, 2024

I’ve been a fan of Mike Patton my entire life, and I was ready to do absolutely anything to have…

October 1, 2024

WASHINGTON — The National Archives released an overwhelming collection of previously classified documents this morning proving that the moon landing…

September 22, 2024

Back in 1992, renowned neurodiversity advocate Dr. Temple Grandin laid the groundwork for the research on deep-touch pressure that would…