So there I was, already late to my buddy’s house show because snipping all the plastic beer rings was taking…
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SANTE FE, N.M. — A recent study revealed that America’s primary source of education has been reduced to fun facts…
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EVANSTON, Ill. — A recent study out of Northwestern University confirmed that Free Throw’s iconic midwest emo anthem “Two Beers…
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Well, well, well. The gang’s all here. And by “the gang,” I mean me, this awesome sex scene, and everyone…
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Not to startle you, but I’m currently 8 beers deep. Which means if you’re reading this, I may already be…
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local over-worked teacher Jason Nance was far more interested in her class’s Career Day presentations than her…
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EASTON, Md. — Local misogynist Bryce Turner is starting to suspect that he, in addition to MSNBC, are to blame…
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SLEEPY HOLLOW, N.Y. — Beloved slumber icon Sleepytime Tea Bear reportedly died in an apparent house fire after falling asleep…
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NEWPORT NEWS, Va. — Local doctor, and self-described nihilist, recommended more sleep for better mood, improved brain function, and a…
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EVANSVILLE, Ind. — Local hardcore kid Jackson Gattis is reportedly the most athletic student at his school despite his complete…
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