SAN JOSE, Calif. — Breaking university-level research revealed the unpleasant truth that the sought-after record you’ve been looking for your whole life was in the…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local deadbeat Griffin Carson adopted the stance of vinyl-only “audiophile” coinciding with his ex-girlfriend’s understandable decision to remove him from her Spotify…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Meteorologists report that a 1,500-foot tidal wave created by a nearby ska band whose wind instrument section all emptied their spit…
FERNDALE, Mich. — Two former strangers seated together on a Megabus ride found common ground through despising the Eagles despite one referring to the band…
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — A longtime inhabitant of the drywall space behind the practice area of indie garage band Oyster Boys audibly requested a song at…
CANTON, Conn. — A local canine owner was stunned to see that his neighborhood’s dog park was completely overrun by opossums owned by dedicated members…
SAN DIEGO — A frenzied man was pursued by an entire cage of gorillas after they took too strong a liking to his shirt festooned…
SPARKS, Nev. — Members of longtime garage-punk outfit The Gargantuans, known for switching instruments between songs, ruined a show by all landing on the same…
NEW YORK — Mets fans were encouraged to “strap in” this past weekend when the stadium organist treated them to an impromptu and seemingly endless…
LOS FELIZ, Calif. — A shirt bearing the logo of a professional hockey team was deemed an acceptable purchase recently as the retro-quality of the…
BLOOMFIELD, Conn. — All 12 attendees of a sold-out harsh noise show were reportedly oblivious to the blaring fire alarm meant to notify them the…
WILLISTON, N.D. — Participants of a weekly karaoke night cringed in disbelief as a local businessman’s booze-fueled “We Didn’t Start the Fire” teetered on the…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — The audience of a recent Terry and the Tire Irons show consisted of apathetic young folk punks who’s attention was glued to…
NEW YORK — Local 36-year-old loser Ryan Buttermyer reportedly maintained a heroic ten-minute wait period before confirming he’d be at a party, despite having absolutely…
SWEETHAVEN VILLAGE — Mosh pitters of a recent Harbored Frustrations show were apprehensive when they noticed Popeye in the pit within grabbing distance of a…