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Danzig Sues Santa Over Late Gift Delivery

LOS ANGELES — Preliminary paper work was filed in Los Angeles superior court this morning stating that Glenn Danzig is suing Santa Claus over late…

Christmas Ruined By Latest Black Flag Album

AUSTIN, Texas. — Local 13-year-old Tyler Ryan had his Christmas ruined after receiving the most recent Black Flag album “What The…” as a gift. Ryan…

Punk House Surprisingly Clean

PORTLAND, Ore. — A punk house inhabited by 16 self-described gutter punks and commonly referred to on flyers as “The Skidmark” is surprisingly clean, visitors…

Every Straight Edge Band Seeking Drummer

USA — Straight edge hardcore is currently on hold while every edge band looks for a new drummer. The last two straight edge drummers were…

Local Woman Holds Boyfriend’s Jacket

RICHMOND, Va. – Standing stoically near the merchandise table, local woman Stephanie Grable held her boyfriend’s jacket during a recent Iron Reagan performance. “Oh, I…