HUDSON, N.Y. — Chester Fields, self-proclaimed “super fan” of indie-rock band The Break, paid a grand total of $0.00 yesterday for the band’s new album…
BALTIMORE — Following weeks of public pressure, local classic rock station WBZA admitted today that their claim of playing “all the hits” is false, as…
LOS ANGELES — Instagram celebrity Mayo the Corgi, also known by the handle @CheckOutMayOverbite, filed a lawsuit yesterday in Los Angeles County against owner Carly…
CHICAGO — Tattooed members of touring hardcore band Sin Eater are reportedly tired of fielding questions as to whether or not they are chefs every…
NEW YORK — The New York City Department of Parks and Recreation released today its highly anticipated annual summer guide, which now includes the best…
NEW YORK — Inventor and former Weezer fan Dr. Stanley Tankowitz successfully time travelled last week to September 10, 2001, to warn Americans that Weezer…
BAR HARBOR, Maine — Local teenager Russ Mitchell, Jr. was uncomfortable and unsure where to direct his gaze yesterday after hearing his father say, “I…
DENVER — Local punk Zane Winslow Jr. claimed today that although he is named after his father and is familiar with his father’s existence, he…
WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man Bryan Walsh is terrified and “jumping to insane conclusions” this morning after his father, commercial electrician Murray Walsh, cryptically said…
LOS ANGELES — Blink-182 bassist Mark Hoppus confirmed today his jealousy of former bandmate Tom DeLonge’s frequent contact with extraterrestrials, secretly wishing even just one…
NEW YORK — 26-year-old alleged Gambino crime family mobster James “Woke Jimmy” Scotto sent a business associate a Venmo request yesterday with a threatening fish…














