LIMA, Peru — A team of archaeologists in the jungles of Peru made a groundbreaking discovery yesterday, unearthing the long-lost “Mambos No. 1-4” prequel tapes…
HOLLAND, Mich. — Your 14-year-old cousin Blake Liston admitted to you yesterday that, as of two weeks ago, he smokes pot and it is “totally…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Prolific punk rock drummer Mikey Erg, of The Ergs!, Dirt Bike Annie, The Unlovables, The Measure, Star Fucking Hipsters, The Slow…
BOSTON — A new report out of the New England Conservatory of Music suggests that classic rock band Boston’s hit song “More Than A Feeling”…
ORLANDO, Fla. – Terrible local ska band Honk Republic transformed into a halfway-decent punk band late Monday night, when their trumpet player Bobby “Lips” McMurphy…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Your coworker Michael Banks, a 33-year-old office assistant and widely known flake, announced plans today to get everything sorted out by tomorrow…
CHICAGO — The Pomegranate Verbena-scented Glade Plug-In at notorious punk venue The Grindstone is “doing the best it can under the circumstances,” sources close to…
SANTA ROSA, Calif. — Influential songwriter and musician Tom Waits is being sued by a dive bar bathroom stall, alleging the artist has plagiarised lyrics…
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Local punk band The Gutter Owls were forced to push their New Year’s Eve headlining set from 11:59 p.m. to 12:30…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Resin Smokers vocalist Claudia Smith told her bandmates last night that the drums during the bridge of their new song should…
SEATTLE — Joey Padilla, drummer and vocalist of pop-punk band Nothing But A Number, was roundly criticized after his show last night for his complete…
MADISON, Wisc. — Local creep Leonard Finkle is under fire once again this week for his repeated and unprompted body positivity, this time regarding women’s…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Local man Jeremy Young brazenly ignored the opening band at a show last night at Club Aurora by looking at not one,…














Man Pretty Sure He Liked All the Right Comments in Facebook Debate
PHILADELPHIA — Facebook user Sean Harris is reportedly “pretty confident” he liked the correct comments this past Friday to avoid backlash on a post about…