LOS ANGELES — Perpetually unemployed boyfriend Liam Womack announced yesterday that he will cease failing to author novels to pursue procrastinating on writing screenplays, apprehensive…
CLEVELAND — Your mom casually suggested last night, while you took a brief break during your band practice, that “you guys add a few James…
CHICAGO — Local record collector Toni Joyce organized her extensive vinyl collection yesterday by whatever basic life necessity the money spent on the record should…
ROANOKE, Va. — After watching three bands already, three more bands are scheduled to play before yours tonight at local punk venue Rodderly’s, despite the…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local 12-year-old Tanner Allen gave his father Grant a ride to Ace of Spades last night to see ska-punk legends The Aquabats…
SAN FRANCISCO — The “death” section of the Wikipedia page for punk legend Benny Core is far longer than any other category documenting the musician’s…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) There’s no faster way to an Aries’ heart than a well-timed compliment. You know it, and, unfortunately, so does…
CLEVELAND — Local child Dixie “Shortcake” Ross was utterly bewildered this week when her first day of kindergarten revealed a world unlike anything she’s ever…
ALLEN, Texas. — Annette Martin is allegedly tired of her husband’s foray into live music as a band-aid for his mid-life crisis, telling friends she…
MOSCOW — Guns ‘N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose was seen sprinting the length of Otkritie Arena last night to help sell the band’s shirts, patches,…
DAVIS, Calif. — Guitarist of Native Weeds, lifelong fan of Woody Guthrie, and avowed anti-fascist Benjamin Spelling showed his displeasure last night at the presence…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Recent trust-fund recipient and part-time blogger Nick Headon reportedly smirked yesterday while vigorously typing on his brand new MacBook Pro at Merritt…














$167 Concert Ticket Comes With Free Commentary From Guy Behind You
ALLENTOWN, Pa. — A special, VIP ticket package to attend Ozzy Osbourne: No More Tours 2 includes running commentary from the guy in the row…