LONDON — Heavy metal legends Iron Maiden have launched a limited edition vintage wine, “The Number of the Yeast,” which boasts widely different flavor profiles,…
BRAUNAU AM INN, AUSTRIA — Fort Wayne, Ind. police officer Audrey Winnet traveled back in time last week to a small town on the Austria/Germany…
We Look Back on Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” and Convince Ourselves He Did All That Stuff After That
At The Hard Times, we periodically like to pay homage to the most iconic albums of all time. So with Halloween around the corner, what…
LOS ANGELES – Indie pop band Sour Bitch Kids learned this morning that the hours they spent practicing their songs with ever decreasing volume were…
WASHINGTON — Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg is determined to continue fulfilling her judicial duties despite her untimely death earlier today, according to sources…
If we’ve learned anything from the LAMEstream media it’s that they only cover news that fits their incredibly ambiguous narrative. I literally had to go…
DIAMONDHEAD, Miss. — Local anger management counselor Damien Hall is in hot water today after instructing police officer Wayne Bailey to visualize potential suspects as…
My toddler and I have nothing in common. Fortunately, I read a bunch of fellow dads on Reddit with the same problem. But the good…
Career planning is increasingly becoming a priority for young Americans. In an era of bad housing and job markets, a bachelor’s degree isn’t as alluring…
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence was hospitalized last night after seeing a Tampon commercial during his bi-weekly hour of television, according to sources comforting…
According to our president, Antifa is the greatest threat facing America today, and yet so little is known about them. By avoiding high profile crimes…
CHICAGO — Local anarcho-punk Noah Wallin claimed today that he is prepared to take the lives of Scottish indie-rock band Franz Ferdinand, should the opportunity…
TRENTON, N.J. — Mafioso and “ordinary dry cleaners operator” Eugenio “Two-Bean Gene” Bianchi underwent an unexpected and surprising sexual awakening yesterday after receiving the kiss…
LOS ANGELES — Writers for the police procedural/workplace sitcom “You Have the Write to Remain Sassy” are debating how flamboyantly “gay” they should write a…