LOS ANGELES — Local couple Debbie Yolander and Brian Guyson sustained mild concussions yesterday after guests at their Weezer-themed gender reveal party hurled copies of…
So your lifelong hobby has been an incredibly rewarding activity, but you’ve been doing it for free this whole time like some unopportunistic fool who…
VERONA, N.J. — Local 36-year-old Jordan Wilkins still hasn’t forgiven himself for completely botching his shopping spree during 1994’s “Nickelodeon Super Toy Run,” friends and…
Put any two people in a room together and make them talk about music long enough, they are bound to find some crossover in their…
BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing spree that will stretch from…
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced today that Americans who have been surgically attached to others at the mouth and/or…
DOYLESTOWN, Pa. — Local sous chef and frequent masturbater Kyle Myers would not pause his jerk-off session Monday when his cat, Mittens, crawled across his…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Covert racist Nancy Jensen admitted she is sick of her more conspicuously bigoted husband receiving all the recognition for his horrendous views…
After decades in television and cinema, if there’s one thing people remember about Tim Allen it’s the name he made for himself as an icon.…
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Local dad and lifelong jock Patrick Bruckheimer is forcing his home-schooled teenage son to take showers upstairs with the rest of the…
Richard Gere is known to be one of the silver foxes of Hollywood. With a full head of peppered grey hair, a chin that would…
UNITED STATES — Straight guy musicians from around the country who usually can’t shut the fuck up about how much they love Asian women suddenly…
Bruce Springsteen is the greatest musician of all time and I refuse to entertain the notion that there is anyone who comes close to His…