It is becoming frighteningly clear to me that America has become the dystopia that modern-day prophet Roy Orbison warned us about. The Big O spent…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — A chain wallet used in a post-show assault in 2011 is allegedly having “the time of its life” awaiting trial as…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump boasted that post-shooting vigil candle sales have been “way up” under his administration, during a press conference held yesterday touting…
BOSTON — Local father and tire store manager Dennis Bowman said the words “Pawn Stars” into his Xfinity smart-TV remote last night, marking the first…
LOS ANGELES — A fully naked Morrissey surprised fans this morning by cancelling an impromptu shower singing session due to inclement water temperature in a…
Alright, bigshot. I get it; you just wanted to go out and have a nice time with your friends, but something about this establishment rubbed…
TORRANCE, Calif. — Longtime punk and father Al Diaz thoroughly interrogated his teenage daughter’s new boyfriend last night about which five Black Flag songs are…
BHIMBETKA, Bhopal — The discovery earlier this week of primitive drawings left on walls by Neanderthals confirmed one of science’s longest held, unproven beliefs: that…
CLEVELAND — An intoxicated woman sitting atop her boyfriend’s shoulders will be the first non-musical act inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame…
The liberal media would have you believe that the classic Christmas Song Baby It’s Cold Outside is offensive. They want you to think that it’s…
I am not calling you a liar, I am just saying that is not what my older brother told me and he knows what he…
SAN DIEGO — Local alcoholic Jerry Tatum announced plans to somehow ruin his niece’s wedding later tonight with his drunk and disorderly antics, despite the…














