Hey guys! Good to meet all of you before the show. Let me just start by saying I think your bands are the best in…
BOSTON — Local father and tire store manager Dennis Bowman said the words “Pawn Stars” into his Xfinity smart-TV remote last night, marking the first…
LOS ANGELES — A fully naked Morrissey surprised fans this morning by cancelling an impromptu shower singing session due to inclement water temperature in a…
Alright, bigshot. I get it; you just wanted to go out and have a nice time with your friends, but something about this establishment rubbed…
TORRANCE, Calif. — Longtime punk and father Al Diaz thoroughly interrogated his teenage daughter’s new boyfriend last night about which five Black Flag songs are…
BHIMBETKA, Bhopal — The discovery earlier this week of primitive drawings left on walls by Neanderthals confirmed one of science’s longest held, unproven beliefs: that…
CLEVELAND — An intoxicated woman sitting atop her boyfriend’s shoulders will be the first non-musical act inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame…
The liberal media would have you believe that the classic Christmas Song Baby It’s Cold Outside is offensive. They want you to think that it’s…
I am not calling you a liar, I am just saying that is not what my older brother told me and he knows what he…
SAN DIEGO — Local alcoholic Jerry Tatum announced plans to somehow ruin his niece’s wedding later tonight with his drunk and disorderly antics, despite the…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Bay Area punk band The Guts have released their most influential material since their inception 10 years ago: an online review of…
I sit silently in my self-built blind, made of mud and twigs; the forest is silent save for the gentle click of the rain on…














